The Unified Field Crossover History of the Universe: Page Three
1801: Santo Domingo Rebellion results in nation of Haiti.

1806: Diego de la Vega dons mask of Zorro to battle corrupt Luis Quintero and Captain Juan Ramon.

1809: "The Five" found Wolfram and Hart law firm to aid with various sinister plots.

1810: Napoleon decides he likes nobility, after all.

1820: While travelling in Europe, Don Diego de la Vega encounters Count Dracula.

1812: Americans invade Canada. Will be more successful with corporate invasion in next century.
-Napoleon ignores Moscow travel advisory at his peril, gets rerouted. Travel agents begin considering a villa in Elba.
-First direct contact between humans and Deep Ones in millenia.

1813: Jason Lycurgus Compson trades Ikkemotubbe a racehorse for a square mile of land in Mississippi. Not as good a deal as Manhatten, but much drama will be founded thereon.

1814: French decide to try Bourbon again.

1817: Lord Byron brings lost books, including works of Taizu, to Watcher Claire Silver and Slayer Justine (the Slayer who likes to play rough).
-Landover Baptist Church established.

1824: Harley delivers a dead letter to Blair, founds Burkittsville.

1830: The Master and the Rani share a cuppa.

1834: Charles Babbage nearly makes a Difference.

1838: Human/Deep Ones crossbreed on one of the Remote south sea islands.

1840:Fu Manchu born.

1842: Pequod sunk by white whale. One alone survives. Call him Ishmael.

1844: Professor Enoch Bowen finds Shiny Traphezohedron in Egypt, founds Starry Wisdom Cult in Providence, Massachusetts.

1845: Start of Irish potato famine.

1846: Human/Deep Ones crossbreeds establish home in Innsmouth, Massachusetts.
-Moriarty twins born. James raised by wealthy parents. A childless nurse spirits away his twin brother.

1847: Former Moriarty nurse arrives in America with child, passes herself off as the "Widow Whiplash" and raises "son," Snidely.

1848: al-Hajj 'Umar establishes the Empire of Masina, with unintended help from Xena.
-Emancipation of serfs in Transylvania, except for those in the immediate vicinity of Castle Dracula, where no one wants to deliver the edict.

1849: Birth of Lazarus H. Rice, destined to lead a long-grain life.

1850: Charles Boone moves into Chapelwaite, encounters Revenant-John-Boon and other undead relatives, disappears.

1851: The first world's fair held in London's Hyde Park. Chips was there, taken to the Great Exhibition as a toddling child.

1854: Birth of Sherlock Holmes.

1855: Yellow fever epidemic; L.H. Rice recovers and realizes he is basically immortal.

1858: Necromantress seduces Lazarus Rice, has son.
-Starry Wisdom cult investigated after rumours of human sacrifice spread.

1859: Darwin publishes On the Origin of Species.

1860: Dracula reads Darwin, is inspired to prove that vampires are the "fittest."
-Elsewhere in vampire news, Angelus becomes obsessed with young Drusilla. Kills family slowly, drives her insane. She joins a convent but is vamped by Angelus on the day she takes Holy Orders.

1861:American Civil War begins. In fact, not terribly civil.
-Russian serfs emancipated. Um, sort of.

1862: Vampire Claudia attempts to destroy Lestat; she and Louis flee to Paris, where they visit the Theater of Vampires. Vampires there kill Claudia to avenge Lestat's death. Louis destroys the theater.
-Sarah Bernhardt makes her acting debut.

1863: Battle of Gettysburg. Young Emma "Granny" Sweet has a great time when the boys get back.
-Roderick Burgess born.

1865: American Civil War ends.
-"The Five," through the Flint family, infiltrate the Teutonic Knights Lancers Elu of Livonia.
-The youthful Snidely Whiplash begins his career by assassinating Abraham Lincoln, framing John Wilkes Booth.

1866: Alfred Nobel explodes onto scene; will later leave in peace.

1867: Confederation of Canada.
-Dutch and British settlers in South Africa live peaceably with each other (if not Africans), in European Christian brotherhood, without any conflict or.... Hey, is that a diamond mine?

1868: Birth of Ghandi.

1871: Kwai Chang Caine hops to America where, despite his Occidental appearance, everyone calls him "Chinaman."

1872: Professor James Moriarty tutors Sherlock Holmes; Holmes accepted at Oxford.
-Plagued by a madman, a giant octopus, some Daleks, and a lame story by Doyle, the crew of the Mary Celeste throw themselves overboard and disappear.

1876: Alexander Graham Bell calls Watson.
-Mafia Don Raffaele Palizzolo infiltrates Sicilian government.

1877: Remaining members of Starry Wisdom Cult leave Providence.

1878: Ol' Jeb Halloway vaporized by alien in old west after he keeps stickin' his head in one of the critter's orifaces and yellin' jimmy crack corn, jimmy crack corn.

1879: Edison has bright idea. Future bright ideas will be signified by having it appear over people's heads.
-After encountering the Doctor and a bad wolf, Queen Victoria founds Torchwood Institute.

1880: Fu Manchu plots to falsify scientists' deaths and press them into his service.
-Sensitive poet "William the Bloody" ('cause his poetry's so "bloody awful") rejected by Cecily, the love of his life. While crying in an alley, he is vamped by Drucilla.
-Necromantress's son first uses name "Richard Wilkinson."

1881: Dr Watson meets Sherlock Holmes for the first time.

1882: Triple Alliance formed.

1883: Sir Dennis Nayland Smith, son of Segrina Holmes and Teutonic Knights Grand Dupe "Whitie" Nayland-Smith, born.
-Mao Zedong born..
-The remains of "Clip" Art Cliparti are secretly returned to earth by the Voltdabi.

1885: Sauron the Necromancer's comatose body exhumed at Rennes-le-Chateau, which stands on the site that was in former times the Dark Tower of Mordor.
-J. Edgar Hoover born.

1887: Vito Andolini born.
-Birth of James "Logan' Howlett, who has an impossible "X-Factor" mutation. During his future wanderings, he will father several children all over the world, thus giving birth to the X-Factor mutant phenomenon.

1888: Dr Watson begins publishing accounts of adventures with Sherlock Holmes.
-Time-Lord / Voltdab encounter hyperactivates the Maze in London; weird timeloop created. Consequently, several heroes from different eras are each the only one to secretly solve the case of Jack the Ripper. Solutions vary.

1889: Holmes begins tryst with Irene Adler; secret kept even from Watson. Of course he doesn't tell Watson. Watson publishes everything Holmes does in The Strand. Yeah, I'd want this guy for my doctor. Talk about a frikkin' inability to keep patient confidentiality. Sheesh.
-Greystoke Expedition lost over Africa, surviving son raised by apes.

1890: The newest "Five," led by Fu Manchu and armed with Sauron's body, form.
-Dr Moreau, on yet another island in the infamous "Remote" chain, experiments on mutating animals into semi-humans.

1891: Holmes confronts Moriarty at Reichenbach Falls; both believed dead.
-Adler, pregnant with Holmes' child, leaves London to live abroad.
-Major earthquake leaves
10 000 dead in Japan.
-Zipper invented.

1892: Jenkins Campbell becomes first man to get his penis caught in a zipper.

1893: Providence reporter Edwin Lillibridge enters the deserted church once occupied by the Starry Wisdom cult; he does not exit. Sounds like some church services I attended as a kid.
-Dr. Who encounters a Rutan on Fang Rock.

1894: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in need of funds.
-Holmes returns to London after three years presumed dead, actually working undercover.
-Rudolph Hess born.
-Inspired by evolution, socialism, and encounter with Dr. Who, H.G. Wells begins writing The Time Machine.

1895: The discovery and movement of Sauron's body touches the mind of Cthulhu and causes its greatest stirring in ages. R'lyeh strange energy produced by Cthulhu's struggles creates a "Hellmouth" in California. This fact will account for much about California in the next century.
-Dracula arranges purchase of land in London, England.

1896: Sorcerous vampire Dracula killed in London, cause of vampirism set back.
-Frank Merriwell enters Fardale

1897: Empire of Masina ends.
-Time-travelling William Riker arrives on Walton's Mountain, Virginia, takes on name "Ashley Longsworth, courts Baldwin sisters.
-Freelance evil mage Richard Wilkins investigates California Hellmouth, begins long-range plotting.

1897:Charles "Lucky" Luciano born.

1898: Angel, Spike, Darla, Drusilla catch up with each other in Bulgaria. On a lark, decides to visit the late Dracula's castle. En route, they encounter Kalderash gypsies. After killing gypsy-mage's daughter, Angelus is "cursed" with the return of his "soul." Traumatized by his past evil deeds (killing thousands, driving Dru insane, foisting Lestat on the world), he leaves the others and vows to make amends.
-Snidely Whiplash moves to the Klondike.
-Sam McGee cremated; Dan McGrew shot.

1899: Boxer Rebellion in China. Brief, but bloody. Foreigners hide under there.
-The frozen body of Victor Frankenstein's monster found in Arctic, shipped to Heinrich von Frankenstein in Germany. Postage considerable.
-Snidely Whiplash captured by Dudley Dooright for the first of several times.
-Angelus or "Angel," Darla, Spike, Dru reunite in China. Spike kills the Slayer. Angel tries but finds he cannot in good conscience resume the evil vampire lifestyle.

1900: Digory Kirke and others enter the otherdimensional world of Narnia; witch will create dire consequences.
-Roderick Burgess forms the Order of the Ancient Mysteries.

1901: Dr. H. Frankenstein and Dr. Pretorius revive the Monster, create its Mate. All supposedly perish in lab accident that reduces ancestral Castle Frankenstein to rubble.
-Vito Andolini flees from Sicily to U.S., where he will adopt name, "Vito Corleone."

1902: Boer War ends.
-Angel comes to the Americas.

1904: Leopald Bloom and Stephen Daedalus wander around Dublin, get drunk. Molly sings.
-Fu Manchu discovers life-prolonging elixer.

1907: Triple Entente formed.
-Branch of Cthulhu cult found operating in New Orleans swamp; ancient Cthulhu statue confiscated.
-Recent immigrant Charles Luciano meets Meyer Lansky.

1908: Cthulhu statue shown at the American Archaeological Society's Annual Convention and Kegger in St Louis, Missouri.
-Awakening Cthulhu experiences indigestion. The blast sears 1,200 miles of forest in Tunguska, Siberia and kills one member of "the Five."

1909: Needing new replacement, "the Five" aid Whiplash in latest prison escape and recruit him.
-Tarzan, son of the lost Earl of Greystoke, discovered in jungle, brought to England.

1910: Tarzan returns to jungle with Jane.

1911: Sir Denis Nayland Smith first encounters Dr Fu Manchu.

1912: Lazarus H. Rice first uses the name, "Lazarus Long."
-Tarzan and Jane adopt foundling Boy, Korak.

1913: Dana Adler, daughter of Holmes and Adler, disappears into remote region of Himalayas

1914: World War I begins. Triple disaster.

1915: Gregor Samsa awakes one morning from uneasy dreams to find himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect. Not a good day, then.

1916: Roderick Burgess attempts to imprison Death, but he's dreaming. Gets Morpheus instead.
-Time-travelling Lazarus Long assumes identity of "Ted Bronson," is beside himself.
-Jor-El of planet Krypton warns high council that "a large space-giant is coming to eat our planet." Dismissed as crank.

1917: Galactus devours planet Krypton. Lone infant survivor Kal-El sent to earth by parents Jor-El and Lara.
-Start of Russian Revolution, which will overthrow an oppressive dictatorship and establish.... Never mind.
-America joins World War effort.

1918: Baby Kal-El arrives on earth, is discovered by John and Martha Kent.
-World War I ends.
-Semi-consciousness of Cthulhu, filtered through semi-consciousness of Sauron, finds likely candidate in mind of Adolf Hitler. Too weak to overcome future furher's obsession with moronic racial theories and bad architectural ideas, but still influences him in direction of destructive, genocidal projects.
-Beginning of merger between Mafia and Camorra crime syndicates.

1920: Michael Corleone born.

1921: Margaret Murray publishes bad research, gives wannabee witches excuse to become as self-righteous, dogmatic, and gullable as followers of other religions.
-German director Murnau contracts vampire Orlok to play himself in film.
-Popeye finds his pappy.

1922: Returning home from movie of Mask of Zorro, wealthy Waynes murdered in front of son, Bruce. He vows revenge on criminals, develops bat fixation.
-Orlok dies on set of Nosferatu; lawsuit by the Widow Stoker orders the film destroyed.

1924: J. Edgar Hoover made head of FBI; is real drag.
-Gandalf slowly revives, takes on name, "Shazam."
-The Bonds adopt infant foundling from Gallifrey and name him Bond. James Bond.

1925: Earthquakes in New England; Henry Wilcox experiences the Call of Cthulhu. Cthulhu released; in conflict with ships Emma and Alert, R'lyeh sinks again, with Cthulhu.

-Under a still-drowsy Gandalf/Shazam, Good Mages of EarthTM realize what "the Five" are about, and mystically imprison Cthulhu beneath the pentagram in Halifax, Nova Scotia.
-The party ends in West Egg; Jay Gatsby killed shortly thereafter.

1928: Luciano, Lansky, Capone and others begin gradual, relatively hostile takeover of American Mafia.

1929: The party ends everywhere else.

-Death of Harper Curtis; the incident draws Barrek to the House on the Maze, where he finds the key.
-The Krys receive a most unwelcome wedding present, not to be opened 'til doomsday.

1930: Miskatonic University Antarctic Expedition leaves Boston on brig Arkham and barque Miskatonic.
-Lamont Cranston takes on identity as "the Shadow;" fights crime, wears cool hat.
-The Order of the Ancient Mysteries divides.

1931: Miskatonic Expedition discovers bodies of so-so Old Ones, some of which are revived. Encounter with Shoggoth leaves Miskatonic explorer Danforth insane, and Dyer with confused recollections of what actually occured.
-Harper Curtis acquires Barrek's key, and finds his way into the House on the Maze.
-Mafia divides into the Five Families. "Damn wannabees," mutter the Five.
-American serviceman "Buck" Rogers gets caught in suspended animation.

1932: Young Clark Kent, weakened by kryptonite gee-gaw of Lana Lang's, is hazed by Smallville jocks, begins somewhat angst-y road towards future heroism.

1933: First known photograph of Skarasen taken in Loch Ness.
-Some big ape does a brodie off the Empire State Building.

1935: Robert Blake enters church formerly occupied by Starry Wisdom cult, finds Shining Trapezohedron. Church destroyed, Blake dies (don't do the crime if you can't do the time), Dr Ambrose Dexter becomes "Nyarlathotep," possessed by the forces within the Shiny Trapezohedron.
-Top Nazis learn of existence of Cthulhu, still unconscious Sauron.
-Indiana Jones gets sidetracked at Club Obi-Wan.

1936: Indiana Jones finds the Ark of the Covenant; Nazis bring down Wrath of Special Effects.
-Vampire Marya Zaleska staked. Discovered to have been guarding Dracula's remains, which are brought secretly to America for study.
-Ambrose Dexter/Nyarlathotep contacts Rudoph Hess, joins "the Five."

1937: Japan invades China.
-The Master attempts to bring about "the Harvest," a vampiric conquest. Fails when earthquake traps him in mystic prison beneath Sunnydale. Yells, "curses, foiled again!" Becomes embroiled in copyright infringement lawsuit with Whiplash family.
-The first Midnight Society meets.

1938: Clark Kent adopts public identity as Superman, begins trend of talented people wearing tight silly outfits and adopting obvious dual identities.
-Austrian hills are alive with the sound of Nazis.
-Dracula's remains sold to Ambrose Dexter.
-Wolf Frankenstein finds the Monster alive under the care of crazed shepherd, Ygor. In a surprise development, attempts to revive him go awry. Monster supposedly perishes in sulphur pit.
-Toichi Hikita and Emilio Lizardo test the first Overthruster. Lizardo gets his head stuck in the John. Orson Welles' War of the World broadcast used to cover ensuing invasion of renegade Red Lectroids.
-Indiana Jones locates Holy Grail. Fortunately, taunting French Knights are long dead.

1939: Nazis invade Poland; World War II begins.
-Bruce Wayne begins fighting crime as the Batman.
-Dr. Ludwig Frankenstein encounters father's monster and Ygor. Attempts to do stuff go awry, Ancestral Castle Frankenstein reduced to rubble again, new villa burned to ground, Baroness Elsa escapes.
-Earliest known covert implanting by Sontarans of an ABB clone, in uterus of Marion Cunningham of Milwaukee; she and husband name the child "Richie."
-Red Lectroids complete hostile takeover of Yoyodyne Propulsion.
-Nazis invade Czechoslovakia; Golem shipped out with young Josef Kavalier hiding in crate. In America, he and cousin Sam Clay will create popular comic, The Escapist.



The Complete Waste O' Timeline: Page Three
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